The TRUE Value of Unworthiness, By Bette Hanson
“Unworthy. The despair in not being seen as you are. The shame in feeling that you are not enough and that something is fundamentally wrong with you. The hopelessness that you may always remain alone and misunderstood.” – Matt Licatta, Psychotherapist, and Director of Sounds True's division of Professional Studies
It is estimated that 98 percent of us suffer from some form of unworthiness. Most people endure silently, and even blindly, unaware of how much our inadequacy, lack of self love and all its derivatives, impacts us.
I am one of them.
When I was growing up in the suburbs of Minneapolis, I was surrounded by four older brothers whose teasing constantly reminded me of how unworthy I was. I am sure they did not intend to inflict emotional harm. To them, it was all in good fun – times four. I coped the best way I could and anyone who knew me back then can attest that I grew up a tough kid. Tough enough to endure the shark infested, egoic world of network television, rising to an executive in news marketing and promotion. I survived long enough to burn out, burn bridges and ultimately, find the kind of peace that changed my life around.
I owe my suffering a debt of gratitude because it was the impetus that pointed me in a direction I knew nothing about. It was during one of the darkest periods of my life when I had just lost my job, my beloved and devoted dog died and my boyfriend had just broken up with me that I stumbled into an energy healing demonstration. Something deep within me resonated with this ancient art form. And I found the kind of peace and freedom my heart yearned for. Through the process of becoming an energy healer, I learned that I am so much more than this life, this body and how my personality 'expresses itself' as unworthy. O learned that I am love itself.
WE ARE PROGRAMMED
“It does however seem as though anyone’s experience of unworthiness, ...begins in great part as an internalization of outward influences that are sustained by identifying with the images in one’s own mind of an unworthy self. - Adyashanti, Spiritual Teacher and Author
I never really knew I suffered from unworthiness until much later, but I lived and breathed it. Many of us grow up unconsciously programmed by negative conditioning from authority figures, events, circumstances and environments. I remember being traumatized at an early age when I was in a department store with my mom. Distracted, we became momentarily separated. When I noticed she was gone, I spotted a familiar coat and went to grab her hand. I looked up, and to my horror, it wasn't the hand of 'mom', it was a complete stranger. I think I burst into tears, and snatched my hand away as the confused mom-look-alike watched me run away in search of my real mother.
Through my own process and working with clients I've learned that unworthiness has many avenues in the way it penetrates our lives. We can become programmed with it through the influence of our parents, their parents and their parents who all grew up in a society that reinforced worth as a value structure. The strain and stress of failure can be imbedded in our genes by our epigenetics, the inheritable traits that are influenced by negative environment and lifestyle.
Remember entering school and the cliques or groups we did or did not belong to? We are quickly taught that to fit in, we have to make the grade or fail. We learn that there is right, wrong, worthiness or unworthiness based on lessons, evaluations and approval.
Upon entering society, we then learn that our worth is directly related to our future and success based on the choice of college, career, marriage, car, home, clothes and how we fit in with the crowd. If we have purpose, make money, attract the right partner we are a success; just as being poor, unmarried with no direction relates to failure.
If you follow a religion in the Western culture, the programming continues as the fundamental belief that we are sinners and ultimately responsible for separation from Divine paradise because we ate an apple and were cursed by God. Eastern cultures are a bit more gentle, portraying the journey to ultimate reality by the doctrine of karma – that everything from joy, sadness wealth, health and disease is the result of karma that is a debt earned by bad choices and actions in past lives and in our present lives.
By the time we mature, we are deeply programmed to believe in fitting the ideal of success as worth or failure by our family, schooling and religious beliefs. In fact, author Adyashanti, in his audio program 'Healing the Core Wound of Unworthiness', estimates that 98% of people hold deep beliefs of feeling unworthy, inadequate, unlovable and alone, no matter how outwardly successful they appear. And in fact, it is this unworthiness that is a motivating drive for success.
WE ARE ENERGY
“If you want to know the secrets of the universe, think in terms of energy, frequency and vibration.” – Nikola Tesla.
To come into balance and alignment with our universal nature, our ancient ancestors practiced a holistic approach of energy considering the mind, body and spirit. These cultures had an evolutionary view of life and disease and saw everything, even our programing as vibration or consciousness.
Science is catching up with what Shamans, and Medicine Men/Women knew long ago; that nothing is solid and everything is energy. Einstein talked about a unified field of creation where everything is connected as an expression of this field. The world of quantum physics expands upon this theory and calls it 'consciousness' -- the basis of our physical, material and energetic world existing in no time, no space – the very stuff of creation. More recently, quantum physicists discovered that our physical atoms are made of vortices of energy that are constantly moving and vibrating, each with their own unique energy signature. The even smaller neutrinos, the second most abundant particle in the Universe after photons, were proven to oscillate by two scientists that won the 2015 Nobel Peace Prize in physics for their work. Not only is this progress, but the Nobel committee said this discovery had “changed our understanding of the innermost workings of matter and can prove crucial to our view of the universe.”
Therefore, if we really want to know who we are as consciousness, we must relate to ourselves as beings of energy and vibration that radiate unique signatures of universal expressions of programming or conditioning.
WE ARE CONDITIONED CONSCIOUSNESS
So know that we know that we are programmed AND that consciousness is the 'stuff' we are made of, imagine our programming as vibrating signatures of conditioning. As a holistic, energy healer I'm not only familiar with the quantum universal idea of consciousness, and conditioning; I live it.
Trained at the highest levels of the Divine art of VortexHealing®, I often serve as an educator and ambassador of energy healing as a practice, art form and modality. VortexHealing is often seen as an esoteric, yet advanced modality, by the more well known Reiki circles, yet it is more in line with ancient indigenous cultures. By its own definition on the Vortexhealing.com website, it is an evolutionary holistic system of energy healing channeling Divine light and consciousness to heal the body, transform emotional patterns and awaken True Self. It is not a typical practice. Using the more well known Reiki for instance as an example, one cannot learn it in a weekend class. To rise to advanced levels, I have taken over 1200 hours of comprehensively intensive training since 2006, and still continue to take classes today. It is a pathway to awakening, yet I remember being absolutely baffled when I first heard about the concept of awakening and energetic conditioning –- because at the time I didn't even know or understand that I was conditioned, of course!
What is conditioning? It is everything that we are, think, feel and believe. It is our 'story' and history. All these beliefs, feelings, thoughts, stories and history has an energetic resonance that is patterned and imprinted AS a result of a vibrational signature of our programmed or 'conditioned' consciousness.
It's a paradigm shift to understand how deeply rooted and expansive our conditioning is. Our culture simply does not have a basic understanding or even belief in energy, much less as conditioned consciousness. The more we open our awareness to new concepts, the more we evolve as a society to gain better understanding. If I had a nickel for every time a client told me they were finished with a specific concern or issue, I'd be quite wealthy. What we perceive, see, or know is just the tip of the iceberg of who we are.
In the VortexHealing view, the human body can be seen as a system of energy dynamics that is quite complex. This energy system is deeply identified and imprinted with our 'story' held on different levels of reality.
Vortex is more in line with Eastern philosophies of wisdom and karma and defines (and works on) our conditioning in four ways; past life history, ancestral history carried by our DNA, our present experience of history and higher dimensional blueprints holding it in place. The distinct difference between Vortex and other energy modalities, is the Divine intelligence guiding the healing, how deeply it bridges into our timeless (dimensional) levels of reality that holds our 'stuff' and the proven protocol identifying the sources of conditioning. Ric Weinman's books on VortexHealing go into more depth and detail on how and why it all works. For the purpose of this article, my own life is living proof of its transformational power. And I also work with many clients that experience profound shift and change, even after just one session.
WE ARE OUR WOUNDS
Perhaps you've heard the saying 'energy follows thought' or 'thought creates our reality'. But what suports thought? It's our beliefs that support thought. We actually believe and think we are our wounds.
As a natural human response, when we think back on how we became unworthy, our mind automatically goes to the original traumatic experience or experiences. It is human nature to find meaning and try and make sense of it by creating beliefs around it. We may respond to the original experience with the question “Why did this happen?”; that is answered with the belief, “I am not good enough,” “I'm not lovable,” or other self limiting and dis-empowering beliefs about the experience. Take a moment and think back and list your own.
For me, my trauma seemed to start at birth. I grew up with the sense of unconsolable grief. My mother cared for my terminally ill 2 ½ year old brother while she was carrying me. He died while I was in the womb, and as a fetus I was surrounded by a mothers grief. I never truly understood why I had tantrums as a child. People used to tell me that I screamed and held my breath until I turned blue and passed out. It was this grief trying to express itself as energy.
Trauma and feeling wounded and unworthy have been an ongoing theme throughout my life and as I later learned, my past life as well. Trauma is also supported genetically within both sets of my parents who endured excessive trauma. Incarnationally, I came into this life with the karmic package of trauma that is fodder for another time and article.
Deeply wounded, I found that I tended to self sabotage myself in relationships, career and even my health suffered. Over the years, I've been diagnosed with chronic Lymes, celiacs and had back to back frozen shoulders that took years to heal. Basically, I was a mess and body, mind and spirit reflected it.
Traumatic beliefs can create emotional needs that self sabotage us. For instance, if we believe we are not worthy, we actually block the feeling of any sense of worthiness, because it does not align with the negative belief; “I am not worthy'. We then feel justified in holding onto these beliefs and reinforce who we think we are because we create more of the same. It then becomes self-fulfilling, as we continue the spiral of believing we are powerless because we keep attracting situations that support the powerless belief. If we allow our emotions to come up over and over again without resolution, we are reinforcing and even magnifying the wounded belief. When we continuously feed our wounds with this type of intention and attention, over time, we begin to identify with them, and position ourselves as unworthy, digging the hole deeper and deeper each time. Or more accurately, we create an identity around the wounded self. This self-fulfilling and self-sabotaging behavior makes healing very challenging.
CHANGING THE PATTERN
“VortexHealing is much more than a healing art. It is a complete transformational process, empowered by Divinity ...bringing divine energy and consciousness to anything in creation that needs it. In practice, this enables VortexHealing to work in a very powerful way on the body, the mind, the emotions, and spirituality, to impact all aspects of the body’s energy system, and to transform the deepest karmic issues we hold as human beings.” – Ric Weinman, Founder of VortexHealing and author of “Awakening Through the Veils, A Seekers Guide'
For me, my saving grace was recognizing that unworthiness is a false belief programmed into my dimensional reality that I was blind too and then in turn, often hid from until it arose to be exposed, and cleared. This unworthy 'awareness' is who we think we are, until through awareness and work, we break free of the pattern. For me, VortexHealing was that vehicle for helping me understand what was happening, why I was acting and feeling the way I was, ultimately, working towards transformational change. I learned I was not my story, and in fact I was something much greater, better and more infinite than I could ever imagined.
This is a profound shift in consciousness. Many people are starting to realize we are much more than this life; we are a perception of reality that has been previously unrealized. There are as may ways to define this evolutionary term as there are ways of achieving it: enlightenment, self realization, spiritual awakening, recognition of oneness with all of existence.
Throughout human history there has existed a timeless wisdom -- a deep and profound realization of a fundamental awareness of being; the unconditioned source of all existence. Jesus, Buddha, Lao Tzu, Krishna and many others expressed and embodied this wisdom. The core message however, has been the same, that absolute truth is beyond all the concepts and beliefs of man, that underlying apparent differences is fundamental oneness, and that our true nature is whole, unbounded and everlasting. Our conditioning prevents us from remembering. I've discovered that removing our conditioning is like lifting veils of illusion.
When we accept disempowering beliefs about ourselves, we experience separation from our true self and this is the cause of pain and suffering. Healing requires resolution—feeling our emotions and allowing them space to be experienced and processed through. For me, what worked was understanding the evolved view of my wounded beliefs is to bring my awareness and attention to these hidden or underlying patterns. And I use this awareness to help clients. We cannot heal what we do not see or acknowledge. We then learn to see that the pain and suffering directs our attention to the illusion of belief that presents itself to be healed. Pain is our warning signal that something is wrong within. It asks us to look deeper. It's our inner guidance system alerting us to the disconnection and imbalance so we can heal these incongruent beliefs.
This isn't anything new. For ancient cultures, wellness was all about balance and disease was seen as the manifestation of imbalance. An essential key to healing is getting our awareness into the patterns of our wounded beliefs by taking full and complete responsibility for them. When we blame the situation or others, the balance of power shifts to them. We cannot change others, or the event. But we can change ourselves! We can empower ourselves to be whole through forgiveness and letting go -- and coming back into alignment. It is not necessarily about condoning the wounded event or action, forgiving another or even ourselves is about letting go of the wounded energy, the beliefs that keep us trapped in a self created, self-fulfilling prison. Forgiveness gives us freedom to be something else.
“When our deepest needs go unfulfilled, suffering begins. We begin to heal when we go beyond personal anger and fear to a realization of our true self, the self that was never afraid and can never be wounded.” – Deepak Chopra, 'The Deeper Wound, Recovering the Soul From Fear & Suffering'
From a vibrational standpoint, our wounded beliefs are lower, denser, contracted vibrations that keep us stagnating. Love, compassion, peace and benevolent forgiveness are higher, lighter resonance. The two simply cannot exist together. When we finally understand this, we look at our wounds from a deeper truth. We realize that whatever trauma happened, it is our wake up call to transcend and rise above it --- leading us back to love. We can find gratitude in seeing our wounded beliefs as a blessing in disguise.
For me, I credit my trauma as the BEST teacher. The entire process of exploring all the avenues, paths and inspirations along the way created lessons that were integral to transformation. I learned that from pain comes compassion and forgiveness, suffering leads to understanding, hope and faith, powerlessness leads to empowerment. And the courage it takes to face our deepest wounds builds strength and helps us learn to accept, allow and detach from the conditioning. When we change patterns, we create space and freedom for the truth of who we are to emerge. What I found lead me back to love of myself and ALL others.
This shift to a higher vibration creates space within our energetic system for freedom to enter. We can harness this aware freedom to awaken the higher truth of who we are as a Divine being, accept, own and heal from the unworthiness of our stories. True power comes from seeing ourselves as a conscious creator and this can only happen if we flush out what is being held unconsciously. If we consistently turn our full awareness and attention toward resolution in the form of love, peace, inner harmony, compassion, and forgiveness, the wound would weaken and eventually dissolve, because disempowered beliefs cannot exist at a high vibration.
A HELPING HAND
In 'Healing the Core Wound of Unworthiness', Adyashanti calls this process 'redemptive love'. He says that there is tremendous power when we can finally own and face up to our life; to the horrors of it, the brokenness of it, the beauty of it – to all of it exactly as it is, but without the condemning narrative. We don't have to pretend these events didn't happen. But what would happen if we dropped our judgements and conclusions of ourselves and others? When we do that, there is just the facts without story or evaluation and we are completely present with it and where transformation can get in. This is what Eckhart Tolle refers to as the witness.
As a healer with hundreds of clients, group healings and workshops under my belt, I find deep satisfaction in helping people recognize how deeply our unworthiness beliefs condition us and what it takes to shift awareness. In my latest workshop 'Valuing Yourself, the Energetic Impact of Unworthiness', we'll explore and identify our disempowering beliefs and use my practice called Multi Dimensional Healing to deeply clear the energetic roots of the conditioning that keep us trapped in unworthiness. Opening up to the Grace of Divine Love, dissolves old patterns and helps us realign with a higher version of who we are – to remember and value ourselves again – to find our self worth and self love. We'll spend six hours together in a powerful and transformational workshop that will leave you changed.
AWAKENING INTO AWARENESS
“To me, the word “spiritual” points to a dimension of our experience that can never be seen under a magnifying glass or measured or explained or proven. It is the ultimate mystery. It is that dimension of our experience that fills us with inexplicable love and calls us to give beyond reason. It can’t be nailed down because it is infinite; it can’t be defined because it is dynamic and ever-changing.” - Tami Simon, Director, Sounds True
As I mentioned, it took me awhile to really understand the concepts of our universal connection and conditioned consciousness. As I immersed myself in study and training, my knowledge and base of experience shifted and awakened. Now I am called to live, practice and share this knowledge with clients and anyone who will listen, as a means of shifting reality for others, to help bring about a better understanding of our true nature as energetic beings of love. As we create a dialogue, we set up the framework for this new understanding to take root and blossom as a new reality.
Look around you, as a society and a world, we are in the midst of paradigm change; a time when the usual and accepted way of doing or thinking about something changes completely. Shifting realities is a part of dimensional learning leading to awareness of something we never new before. This then transforms our underlying assumptions into fundamental change. As we see then, a dimension is not a location or place, it is states of consciousness reflecting evolving levels of beliefs as conditioning devolves. It is awakening to the true nature of who we are beyond and free from conditioning. It is why I called my practice Multi Dimensional Healing.
AUTHOR: Bette Hanson is a holistic energy healer, offering workshops, group healings, private sessions and home/land clearing based out of Philadelphia, PA, serving the East coast region and often traveling throughout the country.
You can sign up for the 6 hour workshop 'Valuing Yourself, the Energetic Impact of Unworthiness', on Sunday, April 24, 12;30-6:30pm in Malvern PA, http://www.meetup.com/Field-of-Awakening/events/229356963/